Weeds

I let myself go. And now look what I've done. I let my heart beat and I let myself fall and now I've reached the bottom and I've shattered. There was no one there to catch me. I felt stupid, utterly so because I actually convinced myself that I'd have a chance this time. But who am I kidding? There's always going to be someone prettier. Someone kinder. Someone more charming. Someone better. Someone who could give him more reasons to love them, than I ever could. I felt the noose loosen, giving me a little space to breathe. To get my heart functioning again. I tried to let myself and my love go, but in the end, the voices will always grow too loud. So loud that nothing can be heard not my tears or my screams. I feel the callouses growing on my heart. Preventing it from feeling anything at all. Because all that boys seem to want is the easy girl. Not the complicated girl who cries herself to sleep and paints feelings into words. The one who has shed too many tears. The one who just wants to be loved so desperately. No. Not the girl who plays with her hair and bites her lip and clenches her fists when she gets too anxious. They will never love me because they will always have a better option. People say that they're just a dandelion while others are roses. Some people say that it's better to be a dandelion. It's not. Because I am one and nobody wants a fucking dandelion. Nobody gives a stupid weed to their lover. Nobody wants me. Maybe it's good to have those thorns, that gives people something to fight for. Me, I'm just open for the taking. But, people bring home bouquets of roses not little, ugly, yellow, worthless dandelions. No matter how many crowns are made out of us, they are always discarded. No matter how beautiful people make us out to be, we always wilt in the end. But now I'm turning gray. My yellow is fading and I'm dying. I've become a shell of my former self. Maybe one day I will make a child's wish come true. And when I make theirs come true, they'll grant my wish. They'll blow me away, sending me far from here. They'll huff and puff until I've become utter nothingness.