I'm Just Alone Again

I think the worst part is that I let myself feel vulnerable. I let my heart feel exposed and I let its contents splay across the floor. I let my blood pump faster and my pulse quicken. I let myself go. I let someone in for just a little bit and I regret every second. Because look where I am now. I've got nothing left. I'm laying here exposed in the corner shivering and wishing I'd just kept my eyes on the floor. Wishing I'd kept the door to my heart locked. Every single day I look at him and just wish that I'd even have a chance. But then I remember; nobody wants me. That's why I'm standing on my own. I'm not the kind of pretty that people fall in love with. No matter how many times you call me beautiful, at the end of the day I'll still be alone and crying into my pillow case. The pain will come back swinging with full force and I'll be reminded why he didn't want me. Why he never will.