Saturday, July 13, 2013

We're too young to be this sad

I know what's wrong with me. I've been self-diagnosed with a broken heart. After my parents divorce I was able to put back together the pieces I needed to love others. I could just never figure out how to fix the part I needed to love myself. However, the part that loves others hasn't really been the same ever since. I mean, I've become so guarded that its rare that I let myself fall in love, because I know I'll end up disappointed. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to be this way. I've tried to be happy, but every time I try, my mangled heart always wins. So I wipe the smile off my face, and if it doesn't come off with the first swipe, I scrub and scrub; until there's nothing left but a trail of tears and a numb, desolate girl. Once again. And then, that familiar ache creeps back into the place my heart had once beat, filling the hole that the vital organ had left behind. I just want someone else to help fix my heart because I'm not really sure that I can do it all on my own. I just need someone to come along that's worth repairing it for. I need someone who wants me to be able to love myself, because maybe then I'll find the motivation to pull out my sewing kit and stitch the fragments back together.

1 comment: