Ignorance is Bliss

It's not a trend. It's not a fad. It's not fucking cool. It's not going to match you Tumblr theme or your style. Depression is not just something you can paint on your carefree soul with some watercolors. Cutting yourself isn't going to make you an automatic nominee for Homecoming Queen.  A lot of the people who pretend have never had a bad thing happen to them a day in their lives. Except their middle school heart break or failing a class. It's not just something you start feeling one day. There's something that's always been inside of us, it only needs a reason to manifest. Our fingers are on the trigger, we just need a reason to pull it. I think that even if my parents didn't divorce, I would still be as equally fucked up. I think we're just built that way. For me maybe it is just closer to the surface. Some people are born with it deep inside them, so they really don't even feel a thing. Some people have it close to bubbling over, but they bury it inside themselves, acting like everything's alright. This is the case with most people. They've become so good at pretending to be happy, they almost fooled themselves. It's not something to put in your status' or something for people to 'thumbs up'. It's real. It's deadly. It's not something that you want to feel. So be content with your happy self. You're lucky that you don't have to be this way.
I'm not writing this for attention. So that someone will come up to me in the school halls and say, "OMG I'M LIKE IN LOOOVE WITH YOUR BLOG." It's not about that. That's why I've (hopefully) kept this whole thing anonymous, because I don't want people to know who I am. I don't want people to have another reason to judge me. I know that if I do say my name, that people will think I write for attention, no matter how many times I will deny it. So I'm happy with my mysterious identity because I don't have to worry about writing the wrong thing, or hurting anyone's feelings. I don't have to worry about getting (more) negative attention. But most importantly, I don't have to worry about anyone being disappointed once they find out who I am.